Person-Centered
Psychotherapy Course

In a one-on-one session with Walter, I interpreted what he said, and I cringed at myself. Of course he noticed my mistake of the wrong use of technique. When we processed our interaction in the large group, however, Walter reported that my interpretation was helpful for him. I cannot acknowledge that that’s possible. I immediately go to that he’s giving me the same thing I gave him: encouragement rather than presence.

While we don’t always notice the things we’re doing well, everybody always knows all about the ways we do things poorly, and when my feelings of inadequacy are met with with false praise, that praise takes me out of the safety of the moment… I stop being able to expose my more vulnerable parts—I begin perceiving a looming threat. (Which, I realize, hours later, is why the technique is important.)

We continue with an unstructured discussion moving between thoughts about the experience of the person-centered approach and thoughts about the actualizing tendency. I’m realizing that the question of actualization is hugely consequential. How is it possible that I’ve never thought about this before? I’m suddenly questioning the way I’ve been practicing counseling. I’m thinking…

Throughout this Person-Centered training, I’m repeatedly returning to the understanding that only in such a group of empathic attitudes and genuine responding does it become possible for me to be congruent, to say to myself and to the group the things that I’m really thinking. And when I’m less defensive, I’m freer to accept others, too. It’s a heady thing, this feeling of permission to be yourself with others.

I think I’ve only felt this with those very close to me, and it doesn’t happen every day. It’s invigorating and exciting and bringing up an awful lot. It’s not just me; we’re all touched by our trainers’ encouragement around finding definitions that make sense to us, as well as dismissing the parts of Rogers’s theory that aren’t (for lack of a better term) congruent with our worldview.

More and more, it’s clear to me that one of the more important things distinguishing this training from my experience of school and agency work is that we are treated like people with resources within us, rather than boxes to be filled with information. I’ve enjoyed several skills-based trainings, and really liked the feeling of getting better at a specific therapeutic style, but this way of learning feels… more important. Little by little, I am stopping to notice whether I’m treating myself and others as people, too.